Moving Forward After Divorce

Time to grieve is essential. Anyone who has been through a divorce knows that there needs to be time for recovery before a person can move on and start fresh. Here are some helpful tips that may make it easier.

(1) Give Yourself Time to Recover – Even if you know divorce is the best choice, it’s still hard. Recovery is not a process you can rush, and it will probably take longer than you think. Be patient and do not put pressure on yourself.

(2) Embrace Challenges – After divorce, you may have to take on some of the things your partner used to do. Don’t let that intimidate you. Embrace those challenges, but give yourself permission to be less than perfect and be brave enough to ask for help from friends.

(3) Consider Joining a Divorce Support Group – For many people there’s a feeling of isolation, as if you are the only person who knows what you’re going through. If you need support for the emotional and psychological aspects of divorce, consider joining a therapist-led divorce support group that is designed to help you work through your feelings.

(4) Take Care of Yourself – With all of the legal, financial and emotional aspects of divorce, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself and your emotional and physical needs.

(5) Be Cautious on Making Life-Changing Decisions – Although it may be tempting to make drastic changes and start fresh somewhere else, you should be cautious. Decisions made in haste, anger, sadness, or worry are often regretted later. Give yourself at least a year to get your equilibrium back before making a major life change.

(6) Make Friends with Other Singles – When you were married, chances are most of your friends you socialized with were also married. Make an effort to meet other singles as soon as you feel ready to socialize. Single friends will be a great resource because they are in a similar place and it always helps to have company when dealing with a new life situation.

(7) Learn from Past Mistakes – People who are healing from divorce may worry that the faults they have will be repeated in the next relationship. This is normal and expected, but it doesn’t guarantee another failure as long as you are willing to look at your issues and address them.

(8) Don’t Put Down Your Ex – After divorce, your relationship with your spouse is over, so focus on your life and your future. Or else, you’ll just sound bitter and vindictive.

(9) Enjoy Being Solo – Being divorced means you are single, it does not mean you have to be isolated. Although it is best not to rush back into another relationship, there are plenty of ways to enjoy being on your own.

(10) Discover Your New Self – One positive aspect of this difficult process is that divorce often gives you the opportunity to reorganize your life and make some changes your inner self was holding back. Whether it’s as simple as changing your wardrobe or as complicated as going back to school, take some time to think about what you would like to do.

(11) Do Not Second Doubt Your Decision – Moving on from divorce almost always includes moments of self-doubt as you begin your new life. If you ever wonder whether you would have been better off staying in your marriage, remember how it was (especially the hard moments) and your reasons for leaving.

For more information on family law matters, contact Attorney Kathy E. Bojczuk at (773) 580-1122.


Estate Planning: Transfer on Death (“TOD”) Instrument

Illinois recently passed a new law that gives people a convenient way to transfer residential real estate outside of probate and without the protections of a trust. The Illinois Residential Real Property Transfer on Death Instrument Act authorizes owners to transfer their Illinois residential real estate outside of probate using a prerecorded instrument. This law allows an owner to indicate who should be the beneficiary of certain real estate before the owner’s passing. Thereby, unlike a deed, a TOD starts operating after the owner passes away. The instrument is still recorded with the county recorder’s office; however, ownership is transferred only after the owner passes away. This instrument is less expensive and less complicated than a property trust, especially when a person’s only real estate is a principal or vacation residence.

Here are the requirements:

1. The real estate must be residential (a building with less than four units, a condo, etc…);

2. The instrument will always be revocable (the owner can revoke or cancel it);

3. The beneficiaries can be business entities; and

4. The owner may deal with his/her residential real estate during his/her life without restriction. 

For more information on Estate Planning, contact:
Attorney Kathy E. Bojczuk at (773) 580-1122.